|02-03-2009, 05:41 AM||#1|
AKaholic #: 8980
Join Date: Aug 2007
Craigslist post - THIS IS PRICELESS
A friend e-mailed this to me. Don't know if it's real or not.
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown(Downtown, Savannah )
Reply to: email@example.com [?]Date:2009-01-06,
I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded
I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
somehow come across this message.
I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I
drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the
jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You
see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol
for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it
that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of
your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty
of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on
your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van
Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the
wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from
your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which
ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone
for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.
I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you
did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to
you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you
out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to
apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it. - Thomas Jefferson
They say that liberals are elite, but you're a liberal and you're just another moron. - Bucky Katt
I'm disgruntled and I have a gun, Is the Post Office hiring?
|02-03-2009, 09:15 AM||#3|
Curio & Relic
AKaholic #: 7245
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: maine woods
Even if it is BS, it was nicely written
LET US SPEAK COURTEOUSLY, DEAL FAIRLY, AND KEEP OURSELVES ARMED AND READY,,,,,TEDDY ROOSEVELT 1903
WOO HOOO WHAT A RIDE !
"SQUADRON LEADER AKJIM, 11 GROUP AKF, REPORTING FOR NIGHT ZEPPELIN INTERCEPT DUTY,,, AS ORDERED SIR"
|02-03-2009, 10:39 AM||#5|
AKaholic #: 4163
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Standing in the gate.
In a situation like this would it be turning the other
cheek by switching from Hydroshocks to Ball ammo?
Jer 48:10 Cursed be he that doeth the work of the LORD deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood.
|02-03-2009, 10:41 AM||#7|
AKaholic #: 11438
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Eastern Kentucky
I want to believe!
"Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
- John Adams
"The notion that a radical is one who hates his country is na´ve and usually idiotic. He is, more likely, one who likes his country more than the rest of us, and is thus more disturbed than the rest of us when he sees it debauched. He is not a bad citizen turning to crime; he is a good citizen driven to despair."
- H.L. Mencken
|02-03-2009, 05:45 PM||#9|
Curio & Relic
AKaholic #: 6259
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: central new york
Thats classic. Hopefully its not bs and some punk learned a valueable leason.
For me the choice is obvious.
Some people would do ANYTHING to breathe the air for 1 more minute. I would not.
|02-03-2009, 08:20 PM||#11|
AKaholic #: 14353
Join Date: Aug 2008
I can't help but be reminded of John Wayne in "The Shootist." During the opening scene, he is held up and shoots the villan in the stomach with a pistol while trying to appear to be pulling out his wallet. May I quote The Duke?
"You're going to have a long winters belly ache, you boob. You need to find yourself another line of work; this one sure don't fit your pistol."
Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my AK.
"I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists." - Abraham Lincoln's 1st inaugural address... and yet we teach our children to call him "Honest Abe."
"I have a terrible headache" - Franklin Delano Roosevelt's last words before dying of a stroke
"Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees" - Last words of Stonewall Jackson
|02-04-2009, 08:35 PM||#13|
AKaholic #: 10475
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New York
~100% genuine and non-inflatable~
The He-Man Woman Haters Club: Murphy, FireSPY, Javelin, Dirt Diver
Small Penis Club: Colonel Korn, Geist
|Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)|