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Old 12-07-2017, 12:13 AM   #1
Monadh
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Default How do you start over at 60?

A few weeks ago someone started a thread that asked if you could move somewhere to start over, where would you go?

My question takes it a little further. How do you start over at 60?

The details are too many and too long to explain the background behind the question, but let it suffice to say I am tired of the pain. I have lived my life in the service of others and it has done me no good, it has not resulted in the love or respect that men used to get when they had been faithful to wife and family. I see it never really will. What I want now is a place to live in peace and quiet.
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:18 AM   #2
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Just like when you're road marching, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep walking and don't let any of them see that you're hurting. I'm not quite as old as you, but I'm going through a divorce now and I have to say that I haven't had this feeling of peace and quiet in a long time.
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:22 AM   #3
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How do you start over at 60? I am nowhere near 60. I would say either very carefully or get an 18 year old girlfriend, knock her up and go all out. Honestly, life has ups and downs. Ride the wave out. Try to be more humble, grateful. Try to help other people. I don't mean monetarily. Try to find a closer connection to god. God luck to you. Hang in there.
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:26 AM   #4
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I know when I got divorced I was very happy for the 1st time in a few years. Keep your chin up. If you want peace and quiet, you will have a hard time attaining it with a wife.
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:36 AM   #5
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Follow your heart, enjoy the lack of drama and constant resentment, get a dog and a van. Go on a road trip for a year or two to clear your head. Good Luck!!
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:49 AM   #6
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Starting over, at any age, is not that hard.

IF

You have a plan, take measure of your resources and research areas/places you might find suitable to relocating to.

Than you once again re-visit your resources and what you realistically can and cannot do.

That will guarantee success.

Having said that, happiness is relative. As in relative to those around you. You can be unhappy in the so-called best places out there - if those around you suck.

Sometimes starting over just means...dumping the downers.

And once again, that means going over your resources, possible outcomes of choices and so forth.

Anything is possible, don't be constrained by a number or those around you with their own self-imposed limitations.
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Old 12-07-2017, 12:56 AM   #7
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It's not a matter of geography. It's inside your head.

A fresh start is sometimes required and often that means a move but that, in and of itself isn't a cure.

You should also make sure that what you're want to leave behind needs to be left behind.

It will be hard at first.

This time of year is not bereft of such issues so know that.

If you have no health problems an exercise program is mandatory.

You might consider talking to your doc and getting some labwork to include a TSH(thyroid) and testosterone.
There is a thread here on testosterone if you look. It's mine and it's good info.

Hang in there, bud.
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Old 12-07-2017, 01:04 AM   #8
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HOPE church in Cary has a fantastic service. It’s a good start.
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Old 12-07-2017, 02:44 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtscuba02 View Post
Just like when you're road marching, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep walking and don't let any of them see that you're hurting. I'm not quite as old as you, but I'm going through a divorce now and I have to say that I haven't had this feeling of peace and quiet in a long time.
One foot in front of the other. I think I remember how to do that.

Thanks guys.
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Old 12-07-2017, 02:56 AM   #10
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Pretty vague details so people can only give vague answers.

"Start over" as in....
New job?
Divorce?
Relocate? (with job or without?)
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Old 12-07-2017, 03:20 AM   #11
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just make sure you don't march face first into the same thing you are leaving behind,,,way to easy to do
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:31 AM   #12
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Get your shit, pack your truck, move to Montana, get new cell number, forget to give it to everyone you knew.
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:37 AM   #13
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I reached a similar place a while back. I stumbled on this:

http://archive.is/20150610190226/www...ome_newcomers/
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:53 AM   #14
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I think about this often. It's a beautiful dream.

If I didn't have anyone relying on me to keep a roof over their heads and food on their table, I'd be sitting in the sun on a beach in Mexico, listening to my beard grow.
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Old 12-07-2017, 09:03 AM   #15
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And that sir is why you are a fine Infantryman,

Because you did it for the experience and sacrifice, knowing there might not be any thanks(or jack), in the end.

Well, whether you realize it or not, that experience(in the infantry, life, and patience) and the great hard ass attitude it took to get there are all HIGHLY desirable qualities. It's all in how you market yourself or research and decide what your next adventure will be...

Corporate America, church, local gun store, a ranch, for a bunch of kids whom don't have anyone to teach them the value of this waning characteristic, clock maker in town(dude, repairing cuckoo clocks!)...

Talk or support some bunch of old guys whom felt like you do now, 15-20 years ago... You know they're out there and as reality indicates, you support your own....

Good luck! It'll work out, there are no other options.

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Old 12-07-2017, 09:08 AM   #16
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I did it at age 49, I jumped off a cliff and left everything and everyone I knew behind, packed up what I could in a 17 foot Uhaul, sold or gave away everything else and relocated half way across the country, but I had a place and someone to go to, to start or I should say to restart a life that got derailed almost 30 years in the past. It has worked out amazingly well for me, we are all different and we all walk different paths.
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Old 12-07-2017, 09:15 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k.rowe2516 View Post
HOPE church in Cary has a fantastic service. It’s a good start.


Continuing anothers advice earlier, I'd suggest grabbing a small camper with a motorcycle, start traveling across the country until you've found a place you feel at peace.(and can find work to keep food on the table.)

Certainly not making fun of churches, religion is a great thing for many. But after you said "im tired of serving others", it's clear to me you're a man tired of doing everything the right way and getting nowhere with it. So church is not going to be the answer for you.. Get out on the road, put your troubles behind you. Sell what you can't take with you.

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Old 12-07-2017, 09:30 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IdahoMike View Post
Get your shit, pack your truck, move to Montana, get new cell number, forget to give it to everyone you knew.
We did just that. Some of you will remember the thread I started about the fire that burned us out. I'm 58 and had to find work. Got hired by Cascade County as a Juvenile Detention Officer. It ain't hard to start over, just keep stepping one at a time. 60 ain't that old either.
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:04 AM   #19
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How to start over at 60, start dating women half your age!
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Old 12-07-2017, 02:32 PM   #20
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Quote:
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If you want peace and quiet, you will have a hard time attaining it with a wife.
This is the fuckin truth!
Happyness=single life.
Im divorced im glad i am as i generally am a happy fellow.
Starting over at first will be hard and depressing im not gonna lie, but after several months, one day youll wake up and it will be like a big weight was lifted off your shoulders and you will fell so much better.
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Old 12-07-2017, 02:52 PM   #21
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How do you start over at 60? I am nowhere near 60.
Nowhere near 60 but closer than anyone else to being a certifiable f6cking @$$hole.
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Old 12-07-2017, 03:01 PM   #22
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Move to Japan as an English teacher. Easy work & the drastic change will wipe all the old stuff from your memory. Do that for 2,3 years & maybe come back.
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Old 12-07-2017, 03:07 PM   #23
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Leverage your skills. I'm an aircraft mechanic that worked in general aviation. Got job in robotics. Did that for around 25 years. Now I build million dollar lasers in Boulder, CO.
Never took a physics class in my life.
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Old 12-07-2017, 05:41 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monadh View Post
A few weeks ago someone started a thread that asked if you could move somewhere to start over, where would you go?

My question takes it a little further. How do you start over at 60?

The details are too many and too long to explain the background behind the question, but let it suffice to say I am tired of the pain. I have lived my life in the service of others and it has done me no good, it has not resulted in the love or respect that men used to get when they had been faithful to wife and family. I see it never really will. What I want now is a place to live in peace and quiet.


SECURE A CHEAP RECREATIONAL LOT ON THE KENAI PENINSULA IN ALASKA GET AN ELECTRICAL SERVICE CONNECTED AND PARK A TINY HOUSE ON IT. PEOPLE THERE ARE GREAT. SIGHTS AND FISHING IS OUTSTANDING. IF YOU GET HOMESICK THEN AT LEAST YOU DIDNT BREAK THE BANK TO TAKE A LIFE BREAK.
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Old 12-07-2017, 06:16 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monadh View Post
One foot in front of the other. I think I remember how to do that.

Thanks guys.
Need more info. You seriously have to ask yourself if you want to live the rest of your life feeling let down and unappreciated by the ones that are supposed to love you. I couldn't and renting the Uhaul was probably the hardest decision I have ever made, but looking back now, I should have done it sooner.
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Old 12-07-2017, 06:55 PM   #26
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Take a personal inventory. Dump the people in your life that are bringing you down.
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:15 PM   #27
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Started over at 49 also, kids are out of school.....child support finished. I was a hard working man dedicated to my family only to find that my wife of 18 years was someone I no longer knew or could stand being around. After my divorce I waited a few years and realized I had to do it over. Built my own log home, got totally out of debt, married a woman 9 years ago and she is 33 now. We are fantastic together and she is a caring loving woman. It can be done! Life is written in chapters. Write your own instead of having others do it. Good luck!!

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Old 12-07-2017, 11:34 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savage View Post
Started over at 49 also,

-
, married a woman 9 years ago and she is 33 now.
jesus man
- you are a glutton for punishment- you should've just gotten a puppy

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Old 12-08-2017, 01:20 AM   #29
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More and more men these days are "going their own way," aka MGTOW. It is finally sinking into the minds of the general male population that Western women are shit now.
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Old 12-08-2017, 01:45 AM   #30
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OP, come out west to the middle of nowhere. Get a job doing handyman work on rural ranches. Fixing fence posts and stringing wire is the norm, and some basic wrenching talents are good as well. Help out with the cook, slinging hash feeding hungry wranglers during roundups.

Benefits financially are low, but the plus is lots of wide open spaces, clean air and few people to bother you. Most outfits can house you in a line shack, and some of these little abodes actually have electricity. Each morning you can open the front door, scream profanities at the sky, flip off a cloud floating by and unload a 30 round magazine in any direction....and no one will care but you, because there's nobody around, just you.

This is your chance to start a new life devoid of anything resembling your past. The rural Southwest has always been for men to go where they couldn't be readily found, to get away from everyone who knows them, and they all have reasons.
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Old 12-08-2017, 10:28 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lane_H View Post
jesus man
- you are a glutton for punishment- you should've just gotten a puppy

Lol, over all I am happier than before. Went EAST for my woman, huge difference from WESTERN woman..... just enjoy every moment and wonder why I did not start out this way years ago.
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Molon labe!
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Old 12-08-2017, 11:02 AM   #32
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Lol, over all I am happier than before. Went EAST for my woman, huge difference from WESTERN woman..... just enjoy every moment and wonder why I did not start out this way years ago.
I am glad you're happy!

after dumping 135# of stress from my life last year, I've decided I will Never do it again.

I am not giving up on pussy but Not getting hitched again.

- to each there own, I just know for a fact I am happier single than dealing with constant drama and bullshit.

hell the 1st one is still a thorn in my side, but that's the way it goes with the mother of your children it seems.
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Old 12-08-2017, 02:56 PM   #33
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How to start over at 60, start dating women half your age!
Or teenagers if you move to Alabama (soon to be pedophile sanctuary state).

Sorry Lane...but facts are facts.
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Old 12-08-2017, 03:56 PM   #34
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The MGTOW movement is one thing, but if you want to pull back the covers to understand WHY we always get shafted by women, this guy's videos are excellent:

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Old 12-08-2017, 04:26 PM   #35
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Or teenagers if you move to Alabama (soon to be pedophile sanctuary state).

Sorry Lane...but facts are facts.
liberal smear campaigns aren't "facts"

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